Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
