Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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