I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
