so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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