I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My life is pants optional.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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