whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
