Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
