I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
