he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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