I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
