I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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