Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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