Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
