okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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