Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
