THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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