Is it normal to miss your booty call?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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