Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We need a shit load of segways right now
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
