I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
