When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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