i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
two words...techno handjob
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
