She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
