the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
