the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
