i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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