i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Randomize
