You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize