can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
