Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
