Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
