What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
