When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
