He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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