so that wasnt chicken after all
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
