A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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