i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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