My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The air taste purple.
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