you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
