I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
im six kinds of drunk right now
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
