I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
