you have to choose: penises or morals?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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