Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
