Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We don't watch enough power rangers
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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