Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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