He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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