Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
