some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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