and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
