yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
