I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
