Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
