I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
