She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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