Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
