I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
