Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
