Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm passing your future prison.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize