so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Boobs are out for the taking
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
