I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
