help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
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