But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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