the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
