Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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