# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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